A Father’s feelings (by Jeffrey Schrembs)


A Father’s feelings (by Jeff Schrembs)

Father.
Dad.
Stepdad
Stepfather
Grandfather
Granddad
Each of these words implies a connection to a child (male or female).
Just as no two children are alike no two parents are alike when it comes to raising their children. I made a decision, when I made the vow before God taking my wifes hand in marriage, to support my wife’s decisions when it came to the children but with specific exceptions if I felt strongly enough we would discuss it and agree. I loved my wife, respected her opinions, and never questioned her intentions or the love she had for each of our children.
Each of my children I am proud of.
Each of my children I truly love.
Each of my children I hope, and pray for, that God grant them; wisdom, good health, happiness, peace, love and understanding.
But most of all to come to know God and Jesus Christ who (approximatley) 2,000 years ago walked upon us in the flesh – healing/feeding/etc. the multitudes – ordained by God – fulfilling all the ancient prophecies – and ultimately taking mankinds sins which he bore for us while crucified, for hours, until he let out the words “IT IS FINISHED” as the holy sprit left his lifeless body.
 
When Jesus arose from the dead, after 3 days as the scriptures and prophicies had required, Jesus remained “the living God in human form” who wanted to serve his fellow man – heal his fellow man – and give his desciplies the tools necessary to educate the masses from the ten commandements (i.e. the law), sin and burnt offerings, to grace and truth as found through Jesus Christ.
So many people say “I adhere to the ten commandments ” and yet the Bible says that “if you think it in your heart you have broken the commandments..all of them”. I don’t believe that there is no person alive today who hasn’t, in their heart/mind/spirit has fully adhered to the 10 commandments.
The beauty of God sending his son personafide in the flesh, i.e. Jesus Christ, was to show his love for all of us.
As a Father I know that my love doesn’t wain through the years. I doesn’t go away when times are hard. I’t is predicated by geography. It is a purity, a responsibility, and a desire to be with my children and to be an integral part of making each of them good – decent – hard working – stable – talented – etc. children and then into adulthood.
God blessed me with my children and I was there every moment that they kicked from the womb or pressed their hand up to the stomach.
I was there listening to every heartbeat and sonogram holding my wifes hand in pure bliss.
I was there when there were medical issues and bedrest.
I was there for the miscarriages and the loss and the pain.
I was there for the delivery of each of my children and I held them first and I cut their cords and I beheld them in all their glory.
I cared for them. I proivded for them. I angusted for them. I was up with them when they were sick. I was there to help them. I was there to love them.
None of my children, under my roof, ever went to bed without me telling them how much I loved them.
Though these eyes have not seen them, individually and/or collectively, not a second of a day goes by when I don’t think of them – love them – miss them – pray for them – want to see them – etc. God willing, things will change (for the better) in the immediate future and I can tell them how much they mean to me and together we can begin to heal and to express and to agree and to discuss and to understand but most of all to…love.
For of all the greatest gifts God bestowed to us Love is the strongest.
I made many mistakes in my marriage and my medical issues played a part in my actions/inactions and I live with that…and it hurts.
I want my children to know both of their parents and to be able to depend on both of their parents. To share special occassions with their parents. To spend time with both of their parents.
I so love my children, and think of them so much, that here I am authoring this article at 5:16am. But, long past the time this article is “posted” I will still be thinking of each of my children and as the night falls I will “toss and turn” thinking of each of my children” and as the sun rises I look to the heavens and thank God for each of my children and before the sun sets I bend to knee and ask God to look after my children and grant me the opportunity to see/talk to/be a positive part of each of their lives, etc.
Perhaps there will come a day when these actions will take places. Sadly, during the interim these words (along with hope and prayer) are all that I have left.
Divorce is a terrible thing.
You think you know someone and…
You think you know their family and…
Divorce adversely affects the children in so many ways and to anyone else going through this I BEG OF YOU to please give the “non0-custodial parent” a chance to prove themselves trustworthy with their chidlren (with whatever checks and balances are warranted).
To put away one’s own hurt, and do what is best for the children, is an admirable and honorable act indeed.
I love my children with every cell in my being.
I long to see them.
I want to be a part of them growing older and being there for them for every “high and low”.
If I am continued to be denied this funamental right, ordained by God, then I will surely suffer and continue to “try” for the relationship between a child and their parent (i.e. Father in this case) should always be supported and should always be a priority.
Writing these words has made me sad as it brings up so many things that have happened this past 16+ months.
To each of my children I say to you I LOVE YOU…and I always will.
Dad
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